January 01st, 2018

Love is the most nurturing, healing and joyously life-affirming aspect of life. But there are other emotional and mental states that masquerade as love that are toxic, controlling, painful, codependent, addictive and unbalanced; obsessive feelings born of fear, unhealed wounds of past lives, early childhood trauma and other buried issues.Sex can be the most wonderful, pleasurable and sacred gift of love, or another casualty of our fear and wounds. The passion of sexual love has been compared to the bliss of union with the Divine and orgasm compared to the flash of enlightenment. The French word for orgasm actually means "little death", which describes the transcendence of body that happens in those moments of blinding surrender. Love and sexuality are so very entwined with our spirituality and our very being, whether on a conscious or unconscious level, whether we glory in it or are facing shame and repression from past religious programming, it all boils down to the fact that it is why and how we are here, the root of our very existence. It is creation, and the basis of all that is. As we come into this age of enlightenment and healing, many of us are discovering our deeper issues of shame, guilt, abandonment and repression, bringing them to light and healing. I will be featuring on these pages, authors, teachers and healers in the realms of love and sexuality, stories and poetry of love's power and inspiration, the phenomena of twin souls and soul mates, sacred sexuality (and maybe even some scared sexuality) astrological compatibility, love and sexual addictions, karmic relationships and much more.It seems so many of you on the earth plane are forever in search of your perfect partner, your soul mate. And yet how many have taken the time to consider exactly what a perfect partner, a soul mate, is? Few, I daresay.

​So let us begin there.

First of all, many walking your earth today, when they hear the term, "soul mate," instantly put a romantic twist, if you will, on it. There's nothing wrong with that. But many romantic relationships are not between soul mates. And many soul mate relationships are not romantic.  So let us broaden your concept of soul mate.Let's take the term literally - soul mate. That means someone who shares the same soul, the same part of the stream of consciousness you find yourself in. And that "someone" is not limited to a potential romantic partner of the opposite (or same) sex. It can include - it DOES include - far, far more than that. A soul mate can be, and often is, a beloved friend or family member with whom a romantic relationship is not even a remote possibility or desire in this lifetime. A soul mate can be a beloved pet.You can even have a soul mate relationship with a place where you feel passionately connected to the Universe. For example: the ocean, the mountains, the desert, and so on. Basically, it's wherever you find a resonant vibration, a deeply-felt soul connection.
A soul mate can be anyone, anything with whom, which you feel a deep spiritual bond and passionate love. Generally, any relationship where you feel deeply connected can be, in a real sense, a soul mate relationship.However, let's get back to our earlier definition of soul mate: someone who shares the same soul. You always recognize those who are your soul mates by how you feel about them. Think about those people (let's confine this discussion to people for now) you feel deeply connected to. Many of them, though not all, are your soul mates. And you will never have a romantic relationship with most of them - not in this lifetime anyway. But then, there are those soul mates in, or on the periphery of, your experience who are potentially perfect romantic partners.

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​You do not have one perfect romantic partner waiting for you somewhere out there. You have many. There is no "one and only." Rid yourself of that notion. That's not to say, however, when you do find one of those perfect ones, you will not stay together for the rest of this lifetime. You may well stay "till death do us part." Those relationships often bring the deepest joy and most soul-satisfying pleasure you can experience in one physical lifetime.It seems to me the best place from which to launch your soul mate search is right there at home, if you will. I mean the first place to look is within yourself. How do you see yourself? In your own eyes, are you loving and kind? Are you sensual and sexual? Are you bright and beautiful? Would you want YOU as your best friend? As your perfect lover?

Take a few moments to ponder that question before you answer it. Would you really want yourself as your best friend? If you can truthfully answer "Yes," you're 90 percent of the way home to your soul mate.

If you must answer "No," that is not a bad thing. It's actually a good thing. For it means you are realizing you have some work to do on yourself. And NOW is the perfect time to do it.

My point is this: You are in absolutely the best and most perfect position to quickly draw to yourself one of those perfect partners out there when you are literally head-over-heels in love with yourself. If you are head-over-heels in love with YOU, you don't need another, do you? That brings me to my next point.

Many relationships on the earth plane today, and probably most romantic relationships, start from a place of need. A place of feeling you, by yourself, are not enough.

You know the litany:

* If I could only find my soul mate, I'd live happily ever after.
* If I could find someone to love me, I'd feel better about myself.
* I might even learn to love myself!
* Etc., etc.

From that place of feeling needy and definitely not loving yourself, you will not attract your soul mate. Though, you'll probably attract someone, or several some ones, as needy as you, and that just doesn't work.

To sum it all up, my dear ones, you must first become your own perfect partner, your own beloved soul mate. Work on yourself first. That is your first priority, especially if you haven't yet fallen in love with yourself. If you can feel really good, really joyful, really uplifted, really passionate, really sensual, really sexual when you are all alone with yourself, you have arrived!  For then you will attract your perfect partner. You MUST attract your perfect partner, if that is your intention, when you are head-over-heels in love with yourself. It cannot be otherwise.

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